physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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