for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
