Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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