A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You don't make any sense
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