Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Remember that time you hooked up with him?

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(206): View more from Washington

So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.

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(386): View more from Florida

Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm

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(345): View more from Cayman Islands

so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper

(574): View more from Indiana

well at least shes not calling you fat anymore

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Yes but- 100% agreed

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.

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(301): View more from Maryland

not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs

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(330): View more from Ohio

Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?

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