Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
