I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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