Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
