I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
