Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
