i barfeds in our rink
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
