You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
