apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
