I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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