I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
