im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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