so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize