We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
