i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
