He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
