don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize