I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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