Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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