so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
