I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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