I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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