People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
