normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
