what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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