I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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