you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
