i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
