32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
