i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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