I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
