He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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