Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
