i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize