hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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