Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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