she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
