She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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