508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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