do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
