Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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