My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
