Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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