FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
