Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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