Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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