I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
