I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
