Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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