dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You took a bar mat shot.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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