I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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