I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
