Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Someone shattered a urinal.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
