he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
