Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
