Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
