I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
never play flip cup with pint glasses
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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