He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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