i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
