I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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