yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
