Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
