Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
