After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
