I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
