All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
