And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You've changed since you got that strap on
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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