We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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