oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
