I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
