:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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