Banned from zoo.
Again?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
